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Mixdown (n) - contemporary recording jargon for the last stage of the multitrack recording process, during which the multiple instrumental and vocal elements of the recording are blended together into the final stereo version which will be heard by consumers.

...which is why the mail is going unanswered (but NOT unread) for yet another month. Keep those cards and letters coming - we're dancing as fast as we can.

Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 06:41:39 -0600
From: Brett Barney <>
Subject: Karoke Ram

Dear Unsuspecting Mentors,

Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought I would make my
living as a professional Steely Dan Karoke singer! But that's what I am
and no double-knit disco darling is going to strip me of that title.
I'll snatch her thong, clinch it 'tween my teeth and give her a good
flossin' before anyone sees me in black socks!

Ok, enough about my boring quirks. Steely Dan just seems to bring the
real women out on a Monday night, no matter the continent.

Thanks For Not Suing,


Date: Fri, 2 Jul 1999 00:48:01 EDT
Subject: re:stop abusing the multi-track process!

Dear Abusers of the Multi-track recording process:
Enough already! It ain't gonna get any better than that! Mix the
tunes down to cassette and start handing them out in front of the Port
Authority. The usual corner.


Teo Macero

PS Here is a partial list of things that were accomplished in less time than
your forthcoming album:
--The writing of the Constitution of the United States of America
--The full flowering and remission of my friend Tony's herpes sores
--World War I
--The Korean Conflict
--Gerald Ford's Presidency
--Your last two albums combined (pretty close, anyway)
--Your 1993 Tour

From: "Emma Philips" <>
Date: Sat, 3 Jul 1999 16:25:24 -0500
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3

Did either Walter Becker or Donald Feagan study design or architecture prior to or during their musical careers? Thank you.

From: "ray hadlock" <xxx-SNIP@SNIP-xxx>
Subject: Sampling Etiquette: Props to Lynda Barry
Date: Sun, 4 Jul 1999 14:53:19 -0400

this is to let the world know that I "sampled" (aka "stole" or
for the more lit.-inclined "plagarized" ) 'Baby Don't Panic I'm A Weekend
' from the magnificent cartoonist/novelist Lynda Barry. It was one
of her middle names she sometimes uses from 'Ernie Pook.' If it has an
origin beyond Lynda, I plead complete ignorance. This sampling gets
complicated, no? Thanks.

Uncle "Put It Out There And I'll Cop It" Ray

From: "Fran" <>
Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 21:17:09 -0500

Dear "Steely Dan":

I'm 21 years old, and I must say Steely Dan has got to be the best music
I've ever layed ears upon. Even a few of my friends think so. It is my all
time dream to see the masters at work in person; so start touring, dammit!
Anyway, can I have a complimentary copy of Citizen, since a spineless
douche-bag I used to live with stole mine, and sold it for crack? That would
be nice.

semi-sincerely, Bob

Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 20:01:53 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jared Blouch <>
Subject: Fellow Citizen of Dan

To make a long story short, I bought the CITIZEN BOX SET when it first
came out. It happened to be the third CD purchase of your band that I
thought I'd give a whirl, and it turned out I just can't get away from
it! I always have a CD for everywhere I go, and a song melody in my
head. Maybe I still struggle to find the remaining hidden messages in
the lyrics, or the combined jazz/pop/rock chords incorporated the
background. Who really knows, all I know is that you guys created your
own unique sound that everyone will remember, time and time again. I
could probably recite every word in every song from "Do It Again" to
"Third World Man". But that's not important. What's important is that
you've touched the lives of many fans and admirers. From Donald's
vocal and keyboard gifts, to Walter's guitar and production talents,
you guys set the standards for the industry. I wish you the best of
luck in your future music endeavors, and hope to hear from you in the
near future. You guys will ALWAYS be my favorite band of all time, no
matter what!!

One of your biggest fans,
Jared "Razor Boy" Blouch

Date: Wed, 7 Jul 1999 21:24:05 EDT
Subject: Rocking the courthouse

Don and Walt
My cousin bob and I are Union
woodworkers on Long Island, and we are building the new federal courthouse in
Islip at a staggering cost overrun of course. And we have christned every
courtroom with all of your music. As we assemble the Judges bench to to theme
of "Your Gold Teeth" or the jury boxes to "Deacon Blues", we are always being
visited by the other workers who always seem to hang around longer than
their tasks call for to just to listen to the music.I have been a Steely Dan
apostle for 25 years, turning all kinds of people to your music.It is
apropreate that you guys went to BARD, cause thats what you are if anyone on
this planet is. There is MAGIC in your music that reaches all who are lucky
enough to hear it Thank You Both! the world would be a sadder place without
Steely Dan. A FAN Lee Salisbury

From: "xxxx"
Subject: Let's have a baby!
Date: Thu, 8 Jul 1999 15:05:50 -0400

Hello - I am an attractive, educated, well-bred woman in my early thirties. I live in the NYC area. I have been a huge fan since I was a teen, and would like make an offer. If either Donald or Walter are interested in having a child, I'd love to give birth to a Steely Baby. I am sure I have a few good eggs left. And let's do it the old-fashioned way - how about a threesome? I am serious! Your truly,


Date: Fri, 9 Jul 1999 10:42:53 -0700 (PDT)
From: Scott Deane <>
Subject: New Album and Such


Recently, I have been informed that the U.S. Military issued personnel
stationed in South America (I believe it was South America, the old
memory doesnt serve me that well anymore)a "Survival Guide". Included
in this "Survival Guide" were instructions on how to react when a
chased/attacked by the Anaconda (the largest known snake in the world,
capable of reaching lengths in excess of 30 feet). These instructions
stated that, if attacked by an Anaconda, to follow these guidelines:
1. Lie down, perfectly still, with your arms at your side. Do not
run, the Anaconda is faster than you.
2. Allow the Anaconda to begin to consume you, feet first (the
Anaconda always consumes prey feet first).
3. Once the Anaconda reaches your hips, carefully and slowly unsheath
your K-Bar knife.
4. With one smooth motion, cut the Anaconda's head off at the joint of
it's jaw.
5. Ensure your knife is sharp.
Interesting, dont you think?

Please, feel free to contact me at your convenience, or just drop a


From: "Ryan McMahon" <>
Subject: New CD/video idea/misc. thanks
Date: Sun, 11 Jul 1999 11:32:09 -0500

Hello Don & Walt, I want to say I'm looking forward to the new cd. I have what I think is a decent idea if there is a Steely Dan Video. My proposal is to use the animated lips from the "Clutch Cargo" cartoons for whoever is singing. I think it would be pretty cool. I also wanted to give thanks again for the "Lemon" you sent me from a year ago. It is priceless to me and will probably put my (far-off future) kids through college if I ever get what I would ask for it. Or my retirement nest egg (or that would be "nest lemon"). And thanks for mentioning influential jazz musicians in your music/webpages. They have given us alternatives while we look forward to the new cd. Brubeck, Rollins, Parker, Coltrane....all awesome. Sincerely, Ryan McMahon

From: "Dmitry S. TOCKMAN" <>
Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 01:41:20 +0400

Dear Donald and Walter!

You always were and still are my the most favourite group in the world (all
remained your fans have already spoken to you... I guess:-)))

I've heard you were going to make a concert in Russia few years ago but it
didn't happen by any reasons. So I ask you - come on! Here the awful number
of your fonds is waiting! And personally for me it will be one of greatest
events of all my 31-years life.

Thank you! We love you!!

Dmitry S. Tockman
Nizhny Novgorod, Russia

From: (brad grove)
Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 00:46:31 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: It's the right thing to do

Don't even think about touring again without preserving one of those
evenings on DVD in 5.1. If those washed-up drug addicts in Fleetwood Mac
can do it, why can't you?

Mr. Brad
(just wants the best for everyone)

Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 20:07:08 -0500
From: Quentin Tarantino <>
Subject: When Josie comes home!

To Mr. Becker and Mr. Fagen,
I am only 17 and wanted to say that in my small town people kind of
grow up and forget about their child hood. Last year I pulled out an
old eight-track of pertzel logic and put it in the player. The music
took me away like no other music has ever done. When I showed the track
to my dad he and I became so close tied together by music. He started
to remember old times that the music brought back. Me and a friend,
Jeremy, started to advertise Steely Dan using our school binders and
playing your music on the piano for our theater class. Now, everytime I
get a new teacher, the first words from me to her are "Do you listen to
Steely Dan?" and I am instantly their favorate. Everyone around me
that I re-introduced to the essence of Steely Dan seems more alive than
ever and I have no one else to thank but you guys. So thanks for
everything. Jeremy sends his Hello's to the both of you and keep
puttin' out those kick ass CD's.

TheRegulators (nothing can stop us now!)

PS If you still autograph things would you send me one.

Mr. Becker and Mr. Fagen,
This is Miles's friend Jeremy that he mentioned above. And may I
say that your music is such an awesome experience. I have'nt been
listening to you very long. (Only about a year.) But ever since I
started listening to you it motivated me to want to learn to play
better. My father has a wide variety of your c.d.s, 8 tracks, and a
scattered assortment of vinyl. And ever since I discovered them he
would have to come into my room wondering were his Steely Dan shit was.
So I urge you to keep up the good work, I'm sure if you've gotten
through to me and my friend, you can get through to a great number of
others too.


If Miles gets an autograph I'd like on too.

Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 10:04:20 -0400
From: "G. Emory Anderson" <>
Subject: Walter Becker's Attack on Il-Rudi

Dr Mr Becker:
Drop that meathook, ya' commie!
You must have been in Hawaii too long. We don't tolerate disorder in
our town anymore.
As for the "man with the squeegee", you missed one important point.
He's not just a "man with a squeegee", but a "squeegee-man"; it was
obvious from the outset how this thing was going to end, given that the
guy was basically just a squeegee with a crackhead attached.
And as for Rudy, I don't care what he does, as long as he can get the
trains to run on time!

-Gordon E Anderson

PS: Go get yourself a damn shave and a haircut, like any God-fearing,
law-abiding citizen.

From: "Robert Isak Bethke" <>
Subject: concern
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 04:21:49 GMT

Steely Dan is probably the best, and most underrated, band in America with
so much potential but they unfortunately have shitty web designers. There is
always bullshit links that aren't funny and we have waited forever for a
merchandise page. Too many people like this band for you guys to fuck up. If
you want, I will work my ass off for SD because they deserve to have good
people working for them. You, to whom it may concern, may send me a nasty
email back but just take a look at the page for yourself and if you can
honestly tell me that Fagen and Becker would think it is a good page then I
will stand corrected in my allegations. Look at some other web
pages.....they don't lead you in silly circles or tap dance around
questions.....and why would you have a page that would annoy loyal fans???
Answer if you want but please give something more to the page. Don't improve
the page to satisfy me but think about the money you are losing each day
that passes when a merchandise page isn't up. Web page design is not hard.
You are not an enemy because I love all Steely-heads and maybe you aren't
even in charge of the web page......but please forward this to those that
should be arrested for impersonating web designers. Good night gentile

Steely Dan Fan #1

Robert I. Bethke

From: (Kenneth Wolford)
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 18:04:35 -0700

When will your new cd be comeing out... My name is Cc and me and my dad and mom love Steely Dan. Im 10 and I know alot of his songs I saw him in concert one year... My favorite song he sings is Hey Ninteen! It rocks! Please E-mail me the release date! We want to be the first ones to get it! STEELY-DAN RULES!


Date: Sun, 25 Jul 1999 17:30:18 EDT
Subject: Dan Collectables

Dear Donald and Walter,
I have just unearthed a ticket stub from a Steely Dan concert dated
April, 1974. The concert took place in Providence, RI. I attended said
concert and if my memory serves me correctly you guys played in tune and way
too fast.
I have two questions. One, what was your rush? Two, has the stub any
monetay value?

Michael Khouri

Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 17:46:54 EDT
Subject: Well driller Dan

Hi Guys,
We decided to take a gamble this week and have our ancient well pumped and
tested, and the guy doing the pumpin''s name is Dan Steely. Seemed like a
mighty auspicious sign--hopefully our well'll soon be pumpin' as much as your

Escondido Cruiser

ps: Dan Steely's a big fuckin' guy.

Date: Sat, 31 Jul 1999 21:04:28 EDT
Subject: I was driving home from work the other day...

...and I found myself stuck behind this dilapidated van carrying about 20
people, and as I was also listening to Steely Dan, I became inspired. I
submit this parody for your amusement.

Trailer Park Twister

Drive west on I-80.
Turn that country music down
just until we baton down.
This aint no one night stand
it happens real often.
Close your eyes or you'll be scared.
The sky is dark they say.
The end of a cashier's day.
Distant funnels from across the plains.

Trailer park twister, shake it.
Trailer park twister, shake it.
So strong, so big
I'm tired of this white trash gig.

Go sit with your step-dad in the den.
Drink Budweiser from a pelt.
May your real dads burn in hell.
Well I should know by now it's just an orgasm.
Damn our house lost a tire.
It aint cheap, cause it aint free.
I should get my GED
Now our trailer is a home to thirteen.

Trailer park twister, shake it.
Trailer park twister, shake it.
So strong, so big.
I'm tired of this white trash gig.

My mom said no, don't go for that guy named Randy.
Girl, you know he's a liar.
The kids will live and learn.
The carpet has cigarette burns.
And K-mart wont except no returns.

Trailer park twister, shake it.
Trailer park twister, shake it.
So strong, so big
I'm tired of this white trash gig.

From: "J.Shayne" <>
Subject: what's the matter w/ you guys?
Date: Sun, 1 Aug 1999 17:56:40 -0700

I went to the '96 show in camden New Jersey and you guys said a new album was forthcoming. In fact you played a couple songs you said were going to be on it. What's the matter? It's three years now and nothing. You have to realize that steely dan is much bigger than either one of you, and you ought to get off your asses and do something. Sorry if I sound rude but it's the truth. J.S.

From: "Shawn Murdock" <>
Date: Mon, 2 Aug 1999 17:12:38 -0400

While pursuing the music of my 70's childhood, I've recently come upon a treasure trove of musical genius,.... you guessed it. Cure my ills. Include me in all things SD. Where do I go to declare my utter devotion? My wife does not seem to care...what's more, she has provided me with the proud distinction of being an to speak. I'm telling her about these incredible musicians and she says 'oh yea, I remember those guys from when I was hanging out with Dana Latham, Jeff Pacaro and the rest of the Toto boys when I lived in North Hollywood.' "What?! you rubbed shoulders with these lords of sound?" Well, she just looks at me and then goes back to the kids and their homework. So, the way I see it, I'm now connected with the real boys. Put me on the mailing list. Sell me everything cheesey that has to do with furthering the cause and comforts of THE musical masters Donald and Walter. Please accept me as a diehard. What are the right's of passage? I'm waiting for instructions. Flipping on Night Fly....

Date: Wed, 04 Aug 1999 13:00:01 -0400
Subject: walter can't fail?

Dear Walt,

The cop who shot the black squeegee man in NYC was named "Meyer".
That does,nt sound like an Italian last name to me or anybody else
I've asked. As a matter of fact, it sort of sounds Jewish does'nt it?

By the way..., did'nt we have a Jewish mayor once? I forget his
name... He was right before the Black mayor... Anyway, was'nt the city
much cleaner and safer when that mayor was running it? Oh well, maybe
through your eyes it was.

We all appreciate the music that you and Donald have made in the
past Walter but I think many of us liked it better when we did'nt know
who the hell you were.

Condolences from another bad Italian,

Bill Ferro

Date: Thu, 05 Aug 1999 22:46:20 -0700
From: Scott Robinson <>
Subject: Technology,What a Hoot!

Thinking about this amazing age we living in, You guys must be having an
absolute hoot with the tremendous access and feedback that the Internet
allows us. As a Dan fan from the Seventies and on, I know the capacity
for verbiage that is the root of all that Steely Dan is. This
interaction with your adoring and vast fanbase might twist your melon
due to the non-stop adulation. Don't get apathetic, keep surprizing us.
Yer Adoring and Vast Fanbase.

Date: Sat, 7 Aug 1999 23:57:42 EDT
Subject: Walter and his work with China Crisis

Hi Guys. I just learned tonight about Kevin Wilkinson of China Crisis passing
away. I know that Walter worked with them and I dont think I would have
discovered their music if it wasnt for that. But point is...we
never know just how long we have on this planet (you or I ) please try
and finish this new album soon. I just want to say thank you to Walter for
allowing me to experience Kevins work with China Crisis. I hope that many
Steely Dan fans have been able to as well.

Date: Sun, 08 Aug 1999 00:10:25 -0500
From: Cindi Chism <>
Subject: Tale of Woe

Greetings and Salutations!

Just wanted to write you guys to let you know that I really appreciate your work, and hope to one day get to see you live, as my Fiancé did back in '94. Unfortunately, I did not even know you existed at the time, being caught up in that whole Metallica/Megadeath/ect. scene. I had one friend who is no longer with us (he died in a kayaking accident. Yes, that's true, could I make this up?) that tried to turn me on to your music way back about '90, but, being caught up in the whole Sammy Hagar/Van Halen/ect. scene at the time, I didn't listen. Then I met the love of my life, who through reminding me that as a musician I should be open minded, asked me to actually listen to one of your songs. I don't remember which one it was, but I was totally blown away. The Music, the words, the story they told, man, it was incredible. Suffice it to say, I have since gotten my grubby little paws on every release of yours that I can find, even some very early works that I found in a local store that recycles albums and cd's. One of those has a song titled Android Wharehouse, which you might remember as something different. Well, that's about it, I just wanted to let you know that you saved me from the endless hours of power chords, distortion pedals, and grunted, indecipherable lyrics that would have haunted me for lord knows how long. Not that I don't appreciate their music, but I think as I evolve into whatever the hell it is that I am becoming, I appreciate what the music means to me more that what it says, if that makes any sense at all to anyone besides myself.

A devoted listener,

Joe F. Brown, and of course, Cynthia L. Chism.

From: "J. Kelly" <>
Subject: new album, eh?
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 1999 00:23:24 -0400

I am sooooooooo happy that you are apparently going to finally get some
damn work done and release a new record. The bad news is, once the album
is finally out, I am going to wait TWO YEARS to buy it... maybe three, I'm
not sure... I have some cute shit to put up on my webpage, and I need a
nice long vacation, and maybe I'll go shop for some cool Hawaiian shirts.
In other words, I'll eventually get around to buying it, so go ahead and
hold your breath.

John Kelly

Date: Thu, 12 Aug 1999 18:31:04 EDT
Subject: good joe

saw joe jackson last night at joe's pub in nyc. he did many covers
including, much to my amazement, "junkie girl". it was fabulous. thought
it was worth the mention.

robert m.

From: "xxx"
Subject: The Laura Ingraham letter...
Date: Sat, 14 Aug 1999 03:34:45 -0400

Hello gentlemen,
I just finished reading your cease and desist letter to Laura Ingraham and
was extremely amused. I have recently become enamored by the lovely twit
and watch her with a fascination akin to that of a train wreck. I too have
noticed her underlying emotions during various segments and sometimes for
whole shows. Most shows have some of that sadness you mentioned but I'd
like to advise you of a newfound anger she's recently shown. As related, I
have become enamored of her. I'd want to know more about her except her
political viewpoints are just so distasteful. Bleeaggh! I'd be interested
to know what reaction she had to your letter if you have the time.

Thank you,


p.s. If you decide to reprint this please do not include my E-mail address
and use a pseudonym for my name (Unless she happens to write in asking
you who wrote this. I told you I'm fascinated by her. :P).

p.p.s I think she's getting some sun. The blotchiness doesn't show up very
much lately.

Date: Sat, 14 Aug 1999 17:21:32 -0400
From: Jim Rowland <>
Subject: Are you kidding???

I hope this isn't really the "Offical Steely Dan Site". If so, I'd hope
the lyrics would be right... or at least proofread. Anyway, it's a good

Date: Mon, 16 Aug 1999 15:25:10 -0700
From: Daniel Vieira <>
Subject: Thanks for the Dance!

Hey guys!

Thanks for the dance on the DanCam on 8/16. Who were the fab women you
dancing with? And more importantly, how can I get set up with one of
them? :^>

Looking forward to the new album. Catchin' the digs already!

Dan in Canoga Park

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