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Look -- we're a little busy now, ok? We're a little preoccupied here. We got stuff to do. But just because we can't answer the mail doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to read a sampling of it, right? In fact, I daresay some of you should start pulling your weight around here and answer some of these fine people's questions. Now tell me, is that too much to ask?

Date: 12 Jun 1998
From: "David Starniri" <>
Subject: Thank you

Thank you Walter & Donald for your willingness to talk to John Fisher of
KMTT in Seattle
last week for his birthday. You guys sounded great and I'm
really looking forward to hearing your next CD. Saw you at the Gorge in Wash
state, summer of '96. I took my then 16 year old son who is an avid "Dan
fan." That was the finest concert I've ever attended. My son will be
attending Univ of Wash next Sept and intends to blast Steely Dan through the
dorms until every young man & woman becomes a loyal listener!

Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 17:52:00 +0000
From: Doron Ben-Ami <>
Subject: Little Kawai


How can it be that a self-professed Steely Dan fan would be unaware of
your fine solo record up 'til now? In any case, I am enjoying the
experience of hearing "new" material at this late date. Your voice is
every bit as expressive and interesting as Donald's. I hope we will be
hearing more of it on future Steely Dan projects.

All that aside, as a proud father of a seven year old boy, I was deeply
touched by your tribute to your son. Thank you for your willingness to
reveal this very intimate part of your life.

Best wishes,

Doron Ben-Ami

Date: Sun, 14 Jun 1998 20:50:38 EDT
Subject: Soul Ram

My 10 year old daughter finally convinced her piano teacher to include some
Steely Dan music in her lessons (which is sensible since they are every bit
the musical geniuses as the classical composers). I fool around on the
keyboard myself so I have all the puplished sheet music. However she was heart
boken to find out that her favorite song, Soul Ram, is not included.
Unfortunaltely I am not talented enough to figure it out by ear. Can anyone
help me get this sheet music?

Dave Rose
San Diego, CA

From: "E London" <>
Subject: Dancam
Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 22:49:46 -0400

This can not be for real. Live? You guys disappear for thirteen years and
reappear on my computer as terminal extroverts? Dancing w/chicks on a

Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 15:17:17 +0000
From: "James Frazier" <>
Subject: cryptic little scratchings

W & D,

So very glad to see other share my outrage/joy at the whole sordid
Tariq/Lord Bullshit debacle. I hope your goons straightened out those
yahoos over at MTV regarding the generally accepted spelling of Don's
name. I note with no small interest Walter's sweaty letter to Greta
V.S.- this brings to mind my not-insignificant prurient interest in
Serena Altshcul (see previous crank letter) news doyen of the
aforementioned Viacom shill organization. My brother, however, favors
the gals over at The Weather Channel. Watch for Soledad O'Brian though,
she's a fast walker.

As usual, I digress, I really only wanted to thank you for updating the
site and congratulate you for locating Senor Marmarosa- no mean feat in
these troubled times.

In any event, hope you & your respective (disrespective?) families are
having a boss summer, I know I am. I'm not even going to ask/speculate
about the new one.

By the way Walter, if that was you down at the Tesuke Village Market
last June, your disguise was laughably bad.

"When it happens, you'll know."

Love that will last the ages,


Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 17:11:26 -0700
From: Bill Parker <>
Subject: To the idiotic loser fans of broke down steely dan that ripp offs from other artist that is giving respect towards steely dans music.

First of all steely dan is probably broke, and what they probably do
on their lesiure time is to take that 105k from other artists like lord
tarig & peter gunz, or de la soul & ice cube for sampling off their
music. (In which these artists is trying pay their respect towards this
relic'70's group). All steely dan can do is become barflies. Because
generally they ran out of ideas musically. They haven't made an album in
3 years, and the reason why their sober
asses go on tour is tried relived the nostalgic '70's. They probably get
lower pay for small attended shows they do. That's one of the reason why
they're ought to put up $105,000 and robbed these platinum sailing RAP
artist, like those three groups I just mention.


To stupid ass Chirstopher. Don't Contradict yourself about
borrowing riffs off steely dan and than dogging lord tarig & peter gunz
platinum saling single "Deja Vu."By the way you'll never make it as
musician, because you're poor as bitch getting pimp slaped around.
In order to make it in the music industry you got to have some
connections, just making in the film industry. Also you gotta have talent, but no you're trying to make easier for yourself, by trying to be like puff daddy of rock 'n'
roll stupid.


From: Tracy Bush <>
Subject: Acrophobia...
Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 17:44:54 -0700

I was playing the final round of an Acrophobia game that had swear
protection on. The sentence I was building had a space for two words, D
and F. So I wrote something concerning one of the founders of Steely
Dan, and a large influence on jazz pianists everywhere, Donald Fagen.
Then the computer tells me that "Fagen" is a swear word! I had to
settle for using the Eagles guitarist Don Felder (who is not even in the
same league as Mr. Fagen, frankly...while he is a talented guitarist who
has decent chops he doesn't play with the appropriate levels of sarcasm
and irony that Mr. Fagen manages to).

So what gives? Does somebody there in Tech Support not like Steely Dan
(Walter Becker, oddly enough, is not a swear word), or does "Fagen" mean
something derogatory in Yiddish?

Incidentally, I lost the game by two points. No one knew who Don Felder

Tracy W. Bush

Date: Thu, 02 Jul 1998 20:29:11 -0600
From: "ks.shapiro" <>
Subject: A true but funny story

Hello, Know your busy so just wanted to drop you a line and tell you kind of a funny story.(true however). The summer before last I decided to have personal license plates for my Jeep wrangler. I was able to come up with a spelling that would fit and clearly state the name of my(as well as thousands of others) favorite musicians. It came out STELYDN. I happen to have received it the day I was talking with my father in law who lives in Sarasota, Florida. He asked what the plates said and I told h im he would probably not know who they were and told him the name. He said oh sure he does, he plays tennis with one of the fathers in that group. When he told me it was Jerry Fagan I couldn't believe it. My father-in-laws name is Martin Shapiro. The n ext time he played tennis with your father he told him about my license plates and Marty could tell how proud your father is of you. He gave Marty one of the t-shirts from your 1996 "drink your big black cow" tour and sent it to me. I think that was so very nice of him to do that. Then just this last March, my husband Steve and I went to Florida to visit his parents. Marty told me your father had told him to tell me hi. Marty asked me if I wanted to meet him. I said I would love to. We drove over to the tennis court and he introduced me to your father. First I would like to say what a resemblance you have to him, and secondly he was so kind to take time from his game to have a picture taken with me. Of course he was wearing one of your t-shirts fro m your Citizen box set. I am very proud to say I have the shirt and picture framed and hanging in my music room. Thank you very much for the timeless and uniquely yours, music that so clearly defines the best moments of listening, in my opinion, unlike any other music I have or ever listened to. Until of course your next album is released. I know you hear this time and time again, but I would just like you to know how much I appreciate the talents in which you display over and over again, never a dis apointment always an adventure. A fan forever Kris

Date: Fri, 03 Jul 1998 00:32:14 -0400
From: "Bill E. Harris" <>
Subject: Concerned

Hey you F'n MF'er
Don't use up all yr little clever BS and not produce an album, seems to
me yr spendin alot o'time F'n around wit this web chit

I've had all I can stands, and I can't stand no mo!

Date: Mon, 06 Jul 1998 22:43:00 -0400
From: Sam Cinquegrani <>
Subject: Pickles

Donald & Walter,

I am 23 and I have only been able to catch 5 or 6 of your shows
over the past three years, but I have to say they have all been
inspiring and incredible. I appreciate what you do with every aspect
with all of your different sound and music. Alot of it is quite
genius! I hope I have the honor of seeing you both live again in the
near future. I am proud to say that I have instilled your music into
ALL of my friends-pointing out every masterful part of every song,
making them realize the complexity of some tunes you both have written.
Because of you both I have been able to make others realize what REAL
sound and music is like in its entirety. Thanks for the 5 wonderful
years I have had discovering your music! I have to say listening to
your music gives me such a powerful soft, rushing feeling through my

Yours in good health,

Sam Cinquegrani

Date: Wed, 08 Jul 1998 00:28:37 -0400
Subject: "Kidnapping and Greasy Eggs"
From: "Gregory C. Neat" <>

Dear Mr. Dan,
I am just checking up on you. My friend (Justis Walkert) and I were
surfing the net last weekend and decided to pull an all nighter with your
"Dan Cam." We (Justis and I) are convinced that you aren't really there.
It seems as though there has been a few images placed on your cam to
suggest that you are fro-licking with two young femmes. Any Dan fan knows
that that Mr. Dan wouldn't be keeping such close company with the same two
femmes over the course of an entire weekend, not to mention the fact that
you were assuming similar poses with these ladies in a redundant fashion.
I am suggesting Mr. Dan that you have been kidnapped. This would
explain but not justify the absence of a new "Steely Dan" release.
(Everybody knows Mr. Dan can perform under the most extreme of conditions
but maybe you have been drugged to boot)
Please give us a buzz and let me know if we can assist you in any
escape plans or album titles.

your bud

Jesco White

ps. Justis says Hi.

From: "Sekscenski, Thomas" <>
Subject: A threat
Date: Thu, 9 Jul 1998 10:36:19 -0400

Okay Guys,

I work at a publishing company in mid-town Manhattan. One of the big
shots here has the name "Donald Fagan"...not quite the same spelling,
but enough to get e-mail and phone calls regarding Steely Dan. Our Mr.
Fagan is happy to be mistaken for Steely Dan's "guitar player" (forgive
him, he is aging and probably was just as dusty back in the 70's.)
Perhaps it would be wise for you guys to answer some of your e-mail and
keep the masses properly informed or our Mr. Fagan will answer questions
for you here, giving out release dates and tour information. It might
help you to know that I play bass and will gladly organize a tour with
our Don to take advantage of your sleepy watch. So then, who is going
to start answering the e-mail? Donald or Walter? Maybe you guys could
flip a coin? If not, you might catch the new Dan on tour...I've already
started practicing.

your friend,

Tom (the new Walter.)

Date: Thu, 9 Jul 1998 14:16:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: Alberto Sanna <>

Dear Steely Dan, I'm a italian man and a great admirator of your music.
When you will publish the next album?

Many greetings
Alberto Sanna

Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 18:44:21 EDT
Subject: HUH?

I've been listening to Steely Dan for over 20 years & I still don't know what
the hell they're talking about.

Aaron Householter

Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 23:39:14 +0800
From: Bea Berenguer-Testa <>
Subject: Greetings!

Just wanted to drop in and say a very steely hello from Manila, the
Philippines. Keep taking me along when you slide on down!


Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 14:34:14 -0700
Subject: fogel contest

Hey man, I won that contest fair and square. I asked da Fogel about what
guitar player was referred to by Walt in an interview as being merely a
"guitar owner" and he didn't know.

(Marty Kupersmith, by the way)

Poster action?

From: "simona" <>
Subject: greetings from italy
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 00:08:46 +0200

Dear sweet musicians,
greetings from Italy first of all. Just a few days ago a journalist wrote
in one of the best selling paper in Italy that Steely Dan music in the
seventies is one of the most actual. I was proud to read it as a fan, my
best friends said that you're wonderful after listened to Gaucho album,
they loved especially Gaucho, i love Gold Teeth II, it has a jazzy sound
which i'm trying to translate into my songs with my band.
Send all you can have about work news, please.
Luca Majeli, Siracusa, Sicily

Date: Sat, 18 Jul 1998 07:45:19 +0200
From: Markus Digion <>
Subject: Albums that Walter Becker "produced"

If you have a list of all the albums that Walter Becker produced I
would be very happy if you could e-mail it to me. Many thanks. md.

Click here

From: "aes123" <>
Subject: Title your new album "We smoked but didn't inhale"
Date: Sun, 19 Jul 1998 15:40:05 -0400

Couldn't help but repeatedly ask myself, where does this music come from???
Certainly there isn't a record company in existance that has the good taste
or judgement to release this brillance. Congrats on fooling them.

I listened to SD every nite till 3-4AM playing cards at NYU with the boys.
Ten years later is listen to SD every day while managing bucks for a global
investment bank wishing I was listening to SD every nite till 3-4AM playing
cards with the boys.

Please gentleman, release a new album on the quick. I'm testing the limits
as to how often one can play a CD before it wears out.

If there is a need for professional money management feel free to email me
at If there is a need to sell a newly released SD album,
please do the same.

From: "If I tell you ill have to kill you" <>
Subject: A semi-long winded note of appreciation.
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1998 01:19:18 PDT

Donald and Walter,

I just got home from a trip to New York with my three cousins. We
disagree on a lot of things, escpecially music. I play in a local junior
high band, percussion, and we have a great director. He really has a way
of inspiring you and I've devoted myself to band. I guess this is why I
feel so strongly about music. Anyhow, I put on a Steely Dan tape in the
car once and I got just about the same question from all of them.
"You listen to THIS?"
"Hell yes."
I gave them a history of the band, and like so many other people my age
they laughed at the thought of me liking a band from the 70s. (I'm
fourteen and it is SO hard finding fellow Dan Fans.) Then they asked me
to put on an "MP Da Last Don" tape. I cringed. I would much rather hear
you guys then some guy bitching about his 'homies.'

I guess what I really wrote to say is you guys are great, I appreciate
your music, I'm looking forward to the next album, rock on, make love
not war, and all that jazz.


From: "Eric Adelson" <>
Subject: Help!
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1998 14:54:03 PDT


I read that Carhenge in Nebraska is depicted on one of your
compilations. Is that true? If so, which compilation?

Eric Adelson

Subject: soundtrack of my childhood
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 23:10:32 -0700

Hello, I thought this might interest you. My father is a big fan of yours (even thought he hates rock and plays -guitar-&-bass- in jazz bands). Anyway, I was born in 1970 and had to listen to every single album of your at least 244 times before I w as old enough to leave the house. I know every word to "Realin' in the Years" "Caves of Altamira" "End of the World (as far as I know)" etc. So you probably think I'm a big fan of big band music now (huh?). I really do enjoy most every song you created , but I'm a fan of Hole now. At least the R&R HOF doesn't accuse you of killing anyone.

Donna Dedman

From: Emilijo Mihatov <>
Subject: Fans fans, everywhere!
Date: Wed, 5 Aug 1998 19:12:48 +1000

Hi to all who read, and in case this gets through the masses, especially
to Messes Becker and Fagen,

In my work I tend to travel a bit through Asia and the Americas, and it
never fails to amaze me the number of people who are Dan crazy, as I
myself am.

I just got back from a stint in India, starting with a show in Madras
(Chennai) followed by 5 days in Bombay (Mumbai). Our distributor there
is an old rocker, Joe Gonsalves. For as long as I've known him, he's
either had a copy of Coltrane pumping through the speakers in his little
Marudi hatch or it's been the mellow tones of Steely Dan. Every one of
our customers (all studio owners and operators, engineers, mixers,
musicians) has the same response when I ask them of their musical
tastes. The first thing from their lips is the name of your band.

Last Sunday I had the pleasure of meeting with a bunch of guys from the
local music scene there and all we could talk about was a recent Denis
Chambers clinic held there and how he stuns all who hear him on the
Alive CD.

You people are truly amazing, talented, creative and general all out
good guys and gals, and although all this praise you must get from day
to day must be beginning to bore you to tears, I'm really glad you have
offered this forum to allow us followers to express it to you in a way
other than at the record store counter. I thank you and pray it rewards
yourselves to create it at least half as much as it does us to hear it.
Does that make sense? Yes, I think it does.

Lastly, try to picture this surreal scene - I am 6'4" and I'm squashed
into the front seat of a little, beaten up 3 cylinder Marudi (Suzuki)
hatch. This little car is dodging starved dogs and even more starving
people without hope clinging to traffic islands on the potholed, monsoon
devastated streets of Bombay. They have no money, no possessions, no
homes, but are wealthy beyond belief when it comes to dignity. The air
is heavy with pollution, the car's air conditioner is screaming in order
to try and accommodate the comfort requirements of this weak
Australian's feeble body. All the senses are in overload until a
cassette is lovingly and gently inserted into the car's stereo
in-between potential life threatening car wreck near misses with tuk
tuk's and sacred cows wandering aimlessly. With the count of the
drummer, Nirvana of the Steely Dan kind covers me like a warm blanket on
a winter's night. I am at peace with the world and with myself. The
chants are simple, yet effective and I'm transported into my emotional
cocoon by your music. Safe, dry, warm and content.

Thanks Walter, thanks Donald.

With love, admiration and warm wishes from India this time,

Emilijo Mihatov
Export Sales Engineer Australasia

PS: The World Health Organization has a fund for helping the people of
India cope with their population woes. They have offices all over the
world. You can visit their web site for more info at

Date: Wed, 05 Aug 1998 09:18:49 -0400
From: Jim Roderick <>
Subject: Waiting impatiently

D and W:

What's up with the new CD? My guess is you're going to tour one last time
and will coincide the release of the CD with the tour. Ain't I clairvoyant?
On another note, my wife has a friend who attended a lit workshop at Bard
several weeks ago. She said that the college disavows the fact that you
two metriculated there in the 60's. Any comment on that?


Date: Tue, 11 Aug 1998 12:03:48 -0400
From: James Garfield <>
Subject: confessions

Dear Dynomamic Duo:

1. I lost my virginity while listening to the Royal Scam. I'm not
ashamed to admit it.

2. If I hear that stupid Black Cow ripoff song one more time, I'm gonna
shoot somebody (probably the radio). It's like listening to a record
that skips in just the right place every time. God is that annoying.

3. I've been watching the Dan Cam for several weeks. It's no wonder the
new album hasn't come out yet---you guys are always hanging out with
your hot babes. Well let me tell you something, some of us WORK FOR A
LIVING. We're not SLACKERS like YOU.

4. I really wish that Donald would answer my Fender Rhodes questions. I
mean, for chrissake, all I wanted to know was (a) what year and (b) what
model. That's it. What the fuck, man.

5. is my sole source of entertainment on the Web. The
rest of the Internet sucks. I hope there's something new on the site,
soon. I'm dyin' over here.

6. The Royal Scam has always been my favorite album. I think it's that
low piano note on the title cut. Maybe that's all I like about it.
Well no, on second thought, I like the Fez. My friend at my office
(WHERE I WORK FOR A LIVING) says the Fez is about using condoms. Is
that true?

7. I thought it was really sad in '93 when Walter got up to do his solo
songs and everybody left for the bathroom. Walter, I stayed and
listened. I love you, man!

8. My wife used to work with a girl who was a big Dan fan. She would
wear green earrings to work. I thought she should wear green earrings
and a fez to work, to really make a statement.

9. I've been setting people straight about you and your relationship to
the original cast of Saturday Night Live. For a while no one believed
me when I said that Chevy Chase was the drummer on Bodhisattva, and that
there were a couple of songs that the Blues Brothers did with you as the
backup band. They also had a hard time believing that Jane Curtin and
Gilda Radner sang backup vocals on "Babylon Sisters." But I convinced
them that Bill Murray did the guitar solo on Peg, after several hours of
heavy drinking.

10. I went to my friend's college graduation in '96, and got to talk to
her brother, who was going to Bard in the fall. I said, Bard, cool!
Steely Dan went to Bard! He says, who's Steely Dan?

11. I think it's pretty weird that the "smooth jazz" stations play
Steely Dan tracks. The classic rock stations do it too, which makes a
little more sense (that's where I was first exposed to the Dan). Must
be that esoteric multi-genre thing you guys have got going on. My
question: are they going to start playing Frank Zappa on the smooth jazz

12. I saw the soundtrack to some movie in the cutouts bin at Tower
Records, where it was like from 1970 with a Becker/Fagen soundtrack. I
didn't buy it because I figure, if it didn't make it into the Citizen
Steely Dan box set, it's probably not worth listening to.

13. My wife will be turning 30 in 1999. Last night I told her that when
she hits 30, that's the critical point where I think it's time to start
trying to have kids. She got all pissed and said that if she knew I had
a "magic number" she would've been out having fun over the last few
years. What's that supposed to mean? I'm a little worried now.

14. I think I'm washed up as a songwriter. I just can't get anything
done anymore. I have an idea, then I fool around with it, and it goes
nowhere. I think about getting rid of the TV, but then I lose Cinemax
and I definitely can't afford to lose all that soft porn on the

15. I'll pay you $105,000 not to license samples of your songs to any
more rap groups, so the rest of us don't have to suffer.

Cordially yours,
Lt. Col. James F. Garfield (ret.)

Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1998 23:24:15 EDT
Mime-Version: 1.0
Subject: new generation of Dan fans


I was listening to the radio chats with John Fischer and I heard
mentioned the difficulty of breaking into the younger market-demographic.
Thought you might be interested to know that I'm a 21-year-old student at SF
State who does his best to turn all his peers to the Way of Dan. So far I've
built up a small but dedicated group of f(r)iends who, despite sometimes
strong initial misgivings, have come to realize that those precise, silky
grooves are what they're REALLY looking for. This devotion to the personality
and quality of your music borders on the spiritual, and has inspired me to
look on myself as a Steely Dangelist.
On another note, I seem to recall seeing a fairly large group of teenage
girls performing what appeared to be choreographed dance routines to "Hey
Nineteen" at one of your Shoreline shows when you were touring. They are
perhaps another cell in the spreading Dan Youth Underground.
Looking forward eagerly to your new album and subsequent tour. Thanks
for all you've done and are doing.
--Robert "The Fez" Thorpe

From: "Mark Herbkersman" <>
Subject: Among other problems I have...
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1998 00:00:52 PDT

It's too hard being a 16-year old who likes '70s music like yours when
all my louse friends listen to is 'alternative' music, i.e. mindless
lyrics and chords that make me want to gouge out their eyes every time
they say 'I know I ask you this every single freakin' day of the year
and you always say 'No,' but do you wanna hear some Metallica?'
My louse buddies are the kind of people who wouldn't know real music if
They're the kind of people, when exposed to the wilderness of a music
store, will scurry into the bowels of the 'Heavy Metal' section and
whine uncontrollably when they see me with an SD album. But they're not
bad people.
Oh yeah, continue to kick butt guys, good luck with the new album/tour,
Countdown to Ecstasy could cripple, maim, and maul any other album in
the 'pop music' genre released in the last year, and such and such.



Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 22:58:08 EDT
Subject: the dan cam

I've been a steely fan since the first time I heard them in the 70's. the dan
cam is the greatest thing to come along since the 8 track tape.

From: (Earl Clark)
Subject: Glamour Profession

I am still trying to find out what Hollywood's middle name is.

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