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Look -- we're a little busy now, ok? We're a little preoccupied here. We got stuff to do. But just because we can't answer the mail doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to read a sampling of it, right? In fact, I daresay some of you should start pulling your weight around here and answer some of these fine people's questions on St. Al's Guestbook. Now tell me, is that too much to ask?

Date: Sun, 24 Aug 1997 16:47:04 +1000
From: Elena Strawhan <>
Subject: Boyfriend Lost

Dear Mr Dan,

My boyfriend is absolutely Dan mad. He plays you guys in the car all
the time. I try to put my latest Ray Charles cassette on, and next
minute, "Rikki Don't Lose that Number" comes blaring out of the
speakers. This song does have a very nice tune, however, I have
informed my boyfriend that there are other bands in the world as well. I
want to have a look at the latest recipes on the internet...and he's on
the net looking at your page. "Tom, get off the net so I can have a
look for a good pasta recipe!!!" What do your wives (and girlfriends)
think of your music? Do they agree that there is more to life than Dan?

Thankyou... Lena

Date: Mon, 25 Aug 1997 15:56:08 -0500
From: Jon Stone <>
Subject: Mistaken identity

This is intended to clear up, once and for all, any misconceptions
people might be harboring concerning Steve Khan and his relation to me.
While I've enjoyed much of his playing with Steely Dan over the years,
especially on True Companion and that Monk tribute duet with Donald
Fagen, I had long since died by the time he came along and categorically
deny being his father. I believe his name at birth was spelled C-A-H-N.
So let's just put an end to it already. Thank you .

Genghis Khan

Date: Mon, 25 Aug 1997 21:34:07 -0400
From: "David S. Lifton" <>
Subject: Girlfriend -- If it can't be you

I have a slight problem. I just started dating this girl. She's very
smart, pretty, and a lot of fun to be with. The only problem is, last
night she told me she isn't much of a Steely Dan fan, although her other
musical tastes are great (Dylan, Joni, Motown). I was wondering if you
guys, my heroes, had any advice to give on whether or not I can overlook
this glaring character flaw. I'll be awaiting your reply. Thank you.

Dave, your faithful servant, lost in misery

Date: Tue, 26 Aug 1997 13:59:17 -0700
From: Cuyamaca User <>
Subject: San Diego loves you

Bear with me gentlemen...
First, as a native San Diegan, I hope I speak for most when I say "go to
hell" to that insulting idiot who was comparing you (in such bad taste)
to one of my local favorites, "The Steely Damned" (ref: e-mail dtd.
7/25/97). While this band does a damn fine job in their justice, the
"Damned" in their name is present out of respect because (as proclaimed
by their lead singer), they "...should be damned for ever attempting to
recreate the original brilliance of Steely Dan." (And, yeah sure, I
realize that for some faceless, nameless, thirty-something scrub to jump
on his soapbox to defend your "honor" is somewhat of a joke in its own
right -- something had to be done).

Second, please settle an issue of debate between some of my close pals:
Is LaPage a child mollestor?

San Diego loves you,


P.S. Sure, I'll take his address.

Date: Wed, 27 Aug 1997 17:05:48 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Count Down To Infamy

Cool expose on the Hall of Shame!

I wondered why Joey Covington wasn't inducted with Jefferson Airplane.
Thanks to "The Gathering Storm" I checked Joey Covington's song & comment
and saw one of his songs made it to the Halls Voter Pamphlet.

Guess all their "experts" are "so called".

Thanks again I'll never buy a ticket there ever.

Nancy Cottone

From: "Heikkila Kari" <>
Subject: greetings from finland
Date: Sat, 30 Aug 1997 00:36:56 +0400

minä rakastan teitä tv:foreigner gaucho

Date: Fri, 29 Aug 1997 23:24:05 -0500
From: (Rick Baird)
Subject: 15 Stacks of Flack

Hey dudes! <heh heh>

I've been a big fan, and I think you guys are the most important band
since Spinal Tap.... or perhaps Bobby Goldsboro.

Just thought I'd drop a line to ask a favor or two of you.

Could you: 1. listen to my demo tape? 2. tell me the meaning of the
words to "Chain Lightning". 3. Tell me when the next album will be
released. 4. E-mail me the chord tabs of all your songs, 5. be
teaching mine ownself how English, should was be, thank you? 7. Teach
me to count. 6. Let me meet your sister(s)/daughter(s)? 8. Let me meet
your mom(s)? 9. Give me backstage passes to your next gig? 10. better
yet, let me sit in on one of your sessions and maybe get on the DanCam?
11. Let me play on the new album? 12. Loan me some money? (20 bucks
aughta' do it, - I'm not greedy). 13. Give my your home phone
numbers/addresses? 14. Give my brother-in-law a job? 15. Be MY
daddy(s) too?

Well? How 'bout it? I don't think I'm being unreasonable.

Your bestest friend,


16. Let me thank you for a very funny web site? Mr. Becker, you have a
great imagination and write very well. I nearly busted a gut reading
the R&RHOF/Monique letters - especially the Don and Glenn reference.
Please update your page often, and keep those cards and letters......

Oh yeah, and I listen to your music some too... :)


Date: Wed, 3 Sep 1997 11:27:12 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: John Kraugh

There is a gentleman in Orem UT. that claims he was in Steely Dan. I have
the boxed set of Steely Dan and cannot find his name anywhere. His name is
John Kraugh. Any truth to this rumor?

Thanks for your help, Bill Brown

Email me at

Subject: Technology meets "myoozik"
Date: Fri, 5 Sep 97 12:46:25 -0700
From: (Jim Bricker)

Don, Walt:

I just read that my parent company is hosting the following "event:"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Meet Motley Crue

Members of the rock superstar band Motley Crue are
huge fans of Apple and Macintosh. So much so that
they asked to hold their West Coast press conference
announcing their new world tour on Apple's
campus. How could we refuse? Employees are
invited to celebrate, meet the band, and see the press

Date - Friday, September 12
Time - 4-6 p.m.
Location - Apple Campus Building 1 Atrium

This event is open to all employees and contractors. Some entertainment press will also be present, but the activities are not open
to the public.

How much did we pay the band? NOTHING!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sad days for Apple fans, these are. Sigh.

I share this with you in hopes that you, as Mac fans, might be inspired to shed some redemption Apple's way. A group of your quality can certainly erase the film and stench left by Da Crü e. Perhaps an event to announce a new album, tour, live web-simulcasted broadcast, whatever?

Warm regards,

Jim Bricker, San Jose CA.

PS - I have no idea if Heather or Pamela will be there.
PPS - looking forward to the experience of a new Steely Dan CD!

Date: Fri, 05 Sep 1997 23:50:32 -0400
From: "Andrew S. Duncan" <>
Subject: Thanks for all the music..

Yegods, get these guys near computers and look what happens.......sheer
geekiness. Very cool you old farts, have fun with the internet, and
whoever it might be helping you to maintain the page.......and one more
thing, pick up a guitar now and then. Preferably near a studio, within
earshot of CD-pressing factory...get it? Like, soon?

If you get the chance and have nothing else to do, drop by my page
sometime and check out the "Low Tide" section. I work in the movies as
a propguy, and have been building a mailing list of technicians,
actresses, and some television directors & producers (the scurviest
bunch of assholes you ever did meet, oh wait, you know record company

Thanks for all the music.....


Date: Sun, 21 Sep 1997 17:17:22 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: New Music

Why haven't you guys put out anything new (studio) in almost 20 years?
You'll never get on MTV that way.

Date: Sun, 21 Sep 1997 22:27:13 -0800
From: Caude Shifflett <>
Subject: Whose your Web-artist?


Who is your web artist?

Unless it's one of Steely Dan, I would venture to say you guys need a
new one.

If it is one of Steely - dude stick with the music thing.

All snobbery aside, I love you guys (Steely Dan, that is).

And do call if you need a kool new artist, I might know a guy.


Caude "Just a Fan Who Cares" Shifflett
Graphic Artist

Date: Tue, 23 Sep 1997 12:48:31 -0600
From: "Daniel C. Benton Jr." <>
Subject: Hiya!

To Mr. Becker & Mr. Fagen,

I love your music. What else is there to say?

Dan "Dan" Benton

Date: Wed, 24 Sep 1997 15:50:38 -0400
From: "Philip J. Penrose" <>
Subject: Why?

Dear Dan Members...

Generally, from what little I've read of a transcript of one online chat
and a sampling of email letters to you and responses from you, you guys
are rather crude (hey...that's your perogative). So, what's your take:
Why do people attempt to communicate with you and why do you bother to
respond at all?

Mr. P. Penrose

Date: Sun, 28 Sep 1997 13:26:02 -0400 (EDT)



Date: Mon, 29 Sep 1997 09:19:40 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Dr. Wu

Donald & Walter....

I'm a once upon a time musician who opened for Jay & the Americans back
in the middle 1960's most notably notoriously? at Jubilee Weekend-UNC
Chapel Hill in 1965. We met again at Centenary College in Jersey sometime
after that and it was there that one of those pranksters - Jay or perhaps it
was one of the Americans - planted a joint in one of my Bass Weejuns. Funny

This incarnation finds me selling real estate in Tuscaloosa, Alabama
where just last summer I sold the lovely home of Dr. Wu.

I'm aware of the persistent rumor that you, Donald, did indeed attend
the University of Alabama in 1970 where you and Dr. Wu's wife, Dr. Katherine
Wu, got into a spat over cheating on an exam. You, of course, were innocent.
She, naturally, did not agree. Dan Junkies in central Alabama still point to
this incident as the origin of Katy Lied.

Please come clean about Katherine Wu and whether it was you or Walter
who dropped that joint in my shoe.

Skip Brooks

Date: Thu, 09 Oct 1997 00:30:31 +0100
From: Brett Barney <>
Subject: The Hills are Alive with the Souls of Rams

Hey Rumpled Suit Guys!

I'm so excited. Last night I got drunk at a karoke bar and won $100 singing
my rendition of "Deacon Blues". My dilemna? I have a chance to win $200
next week BUT I HAVE TO SING A DIFFERENT SONG!!! Please, what other
classic Dan tunes are currently licensed to karoke bars? I know the words
to every single one of them so JUST GIVE ME MY OPTIONS!!! Two Hundred
Dollars...Can you believe it? If I win it will pay for all the money I've
spent buying your music! (Not including Tracks of Wacks). Any chance of
you guys teaming up with with Tony Robbins for an INFOMERCIAL BLITZ?
Sally Struthers could sell the shit out of you guys!

Already in the Zombie Woof,

Your Little Junkie Girl

Date: Mon, 13 Oct 1997 12:19:51 -0700
From: dan kenny <>
Subject: a fan`

just a guy that appreciates your music. Thanks

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 01:14:05 -0400
From: Justin Jon Schwab <>
Subject: Linear Arrangement

I am humbled by the fanaticism of all these people. I do not own every
album on 8-track, vinyl, casette, CD, laserdisc, aboriginal
memory-keeper, what have you. In fact, I only own one album, on casette
- that would be Scam. And I like it. I like it rather a lot actually.
I wouldn't say you're the greatest musical entity of all time (that
would have to be Sir Mix-A-Lot), but you're certainly "cooler" than I
shall ever be.
I write this for one purpose only: to get a response. Any response. I
want to see if you can humiliate me with your snideness. Go on. Try
it! Try to break my spirit!

Date: Thu, 27 Sep 1956 15:46:23 +0000
From: lisa
Subject: Thanks

Dear Donald and Walter:

Nothing creepy

Nothing weird

Just had to tell you how much I have love your music

Since 1977

I have every CD

And know every word

Came to see you in the Omni in 1993

Was the best concert I've ever seen (and Robert Plant was in Atlanta

Your music makes me feel just the way I want to feel

I always come back to it

Never tire of it

Keep it coming

You are both very talented

Thanks for sharing



Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997 21:27:19 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Next tour

Hi, I'm Andrew and I'm 6. Hi, I'm Erik and I'm 5. We are brothers. We
taped your performance on Letterman and watch it all the time. We named our
dog Josie. How about coming to Utah on your next tour so we can see you.
They have a place called Deer Valley that would be perfect for a Dan
concert. Those Rock and Roll Hall of Fame people must be nuts.

Date: Mon, 27 Oct 1997 10:32:49 -0800
From: Faye Tipton <>
Subject: Previous groups

Can you please tell me in what other rock and roll bands did Steely Dan
play in? Just dying to know... Thanks.

Date: Thu, 30 Oct 97 09:15:02 -0800
From: Hintonj <>
Subject: Who played the original studio solo on "Do It Again?"

I am a teacher in Utah. There is a man giving assembly speeches in some
of the local schools(as part of his parole community service). He claims
that he used to play with Steely Dan and that he played the original
studio solo of "Do It Again." We don't believe it. Will you help us out
and tell us who actually did play the solo. His name is John Kragh and
he says he used to be known as "Waterbed Bob" because he once owned a
small chain of waterbed stores. He is a studio guitarist, vocal
instructor, and producer, and he owns a website called ""
You are probably aware of it, because if you do a search of Steely Dan
the first 30-40 sites that come up belong to him.

From: scott morris
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 97 15:53:07 -0600
Subject: Hmmm...

General overall bemusement!! I just spent a bit of time reading the
various online/E-mail tidbits out there from assorted sources. I'll
eschew the typical compliments and obsequiousness (not because they
aren't deserved, but rather because they have been amply expressed
already). In any case, I don't think your egos are malnourished,
judging by the torrent of praise your Web stuff has collected.

I just got a kick out of you making yourselves so accessible to the
public on such a format - very cool. I often read how public life
becomes somewhat tedious and frightening without a bit of necessary

I wish that some of the input wasn't so redundant (when's the next
album released, opinions seeking to give you a "surreptitious" glance
into the writer's musical knowledge/aspirations, old band lore,
influences, etc.). However, I guess it's difficult to avoid such
channels when the music is the common bond between you and your

I notice that the questions concerning actual technical musical stuff
find you both a bit guarded. The closest I ever got to any of your
stuff was hacking around with a TAB of "Kid Charlemagne" - long since
put the guitar in the closet in exchange for a day gig - miss it
sometimes, sometimes not. Wish I could have integrated more Be-bop
into my play - I really like T. Monk. Could never get the hang of
integrating it though. Some have the gift I suppose.

But, I digress. Do you all do your own Web stuff? I gather that WB's
son does a good deal of the design and all. How much do you use new
computer composing/MIDI synthesizing/recording studio type software?
I have wondered about it for a while now. Does it make
music/composition more accessible for those who have a gift for
"tinkering" but not necessarily a gift for written musical theory?

I think it's intriguing that you are so willing to make yourselves
available. Despite your penchant for sarcasm, you both seem to be
good souls. Nice talking with (at?) you.

Scott Morris

Sender: Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997
From: catch23
Subject: ..changed my life

for the better! Of course :) Thanky yas for staying real and being wayyy ahead of your time. If I had a sister I'd send her to yas. You inspired me to build a better speaker! That was after you inspired me to build a better amp, with which I blew every speaker I got near. If I ever market 'em, mebbe i'll call 'em 'Tribute to Steely Dan" I actually wore out a CD player on the Gaucho CD, th damn thing Gaucho'd for like a month on end. When I die behind the wheel I'm gonna have all the Citizen CD's beside me. And a pile of John Scofield CD's too. But at least I will have learned a few things in my life.

1. Never drink a 2 liter bottle of mountain dew before heading into the lincoln tunnel on a Friday at 4 PM
2. If the sub looks old, don't eat it
and some other stuff
Oh hey also, if you read this far and are still awake, here's a joke - hope it's good for a chuckle

Why does the dog lick his genitals?
Cause he can!

Me, I'd be in a circus somewhere
And by the way, don't listen to that analog-head tube guy, stay digital keep away from the noise thing and *THANK YOU* very very mucho for the superb recordings!!!!! I plan to hit 135 DB while the neighbors are away today!!! Yessssssssss
I thank you in very much appreciation for everything - from the heart
Stay wicked too :) 
(^_^)            (^_^)             (^_^)               (^_^)            (^_^) 
"Mom don't wear no makeup,dad's hair is down is back. 
They smoke marijuana, I just want some crack." 
                                                  Ed Gein's Car 

A couple of guys are sitting by a pool at a naturist camp and a woman walks
by. Noticing the very tiny tan lines from her very tiny bikini, one guy turns
to the other and says "wow, I bet she really looks good in that!"

                                           (      )
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          \           _/\/\/\_    |    |   (_ _ _ )    |     |
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           \,>o(,,/_  \(.)(.) /_  | C  |)  \(.)(.))    C___ |)
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             C_, )/      oooo       /  \\     oooo    /   \/ /  \
              /  |/     /   \\     /    \\   /___\\  /      /    \

Did you know that in German, Usenet groups are called

                              /                    \
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             ^______________/    __       __         \______________^
             \              |   /  \     /  \        |              /
               \            |  |  o |   | o  |       |            /
                 \          |   \__/__   \__/        |          /
                   \        |      /  \              |        /
                     \      |      \__/              |      /
                       \____|    __________          |____/  
                            |   / ________ \         |
                            \  | / ______ \ |        /
                             \ |/_/      \_\|       /
                                  \     |      /
                                        |          "I make gobs of cash
                                        |      whining other people's songs"
                                       /  \
                                      /    \
                        _____________/      \____________ Michael Bolton
              /    \__  
  |\         /    @   \
  \ \_______|    \  .:|>             "I peed in your shoes."
   \      ##|    | \__/                        
    |    ####\__/   \                         -- Spot
    /  /  ##       \|     
   /  /__________\  \           No virgin electrons used in the
   L_JJ           \__JJ           processing of this message. 

Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 21:10:48 -0500
From: Lawrence Jeffrey Klerer <>
Subject: Walter Becker

Please tell me which songs Walter Becker sang lead on. Also, how many
songs mention Las Vegas in them.

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