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It is truly comforting to know that we are in the thoughts of the Loyal Fandom during this our time of great humiliation and loss.

In celebration of the healing power of collective sympathy, and with the hope that it will inspire all of us to return to our lives and to our work with renewed faith and optimism in humanity, we now share some of these soothing words with you.

Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997
Subject: HOF Gyp

What is this crap? The R&R Hall o' Fame gave you the slip! Oh, God! The voices in my head have to stop!

You know what really irks me about this whole business, is that The Eagles make it in first year of eligibility with that "I'm-a-lonesome-urban-cowboy-traveling-to-California-and-gettin-truly-gee-whiz -astonished-at-the-loss-of-my-youthful-innocence-among-the-hair-spray-of-Holly wood-and-all-I-want-is-the-luv-of-a-bronze-skinned-woman-who-summons-my-rustic -side-before-she-deludes-me-and-I-start-suckin-up-the-china-white-until-I-beco me-a-cold-callous-thirty-year-old-who-works-at-Guitar-Center-and-acts-really-c ynical-at-parties-then-goes-into-telemarketing" country-rock CLAPTRAP, and the Dan -- who wrote "Deacon Blues" -- get passed up? Don't tell me it's because they don't like horn sections in rock and roll, either. The tarp-lickers. Argh.

Well, I feel better. There's always next year. Let me know if you need any horses' heads or anything that might PERSUADE Wenner to ---

Wait, isn't Jann Wenner pals with Billy Joel? This stinks to high heaven.

(sigh) Well, we'll get you in, Walter and Donald, and I promise it'll be long before the 1910 Fruitgum Company even spit-polish the HOF foyer floors.

Aargh. Wouldn't know art if it bit 'em in the arse.

Paul Pearson
Los Angeles

From: "Caplan, D. R."
Subject: Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Debacle
Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997

Donald & Walter:

I am a truly devoted fan of yours and have been for the past 25 years. Its a total sham that you were not inducted into the R&R Hall of Fame as you should have been. It just goes to show that they're just a bunch of NIMRODS.

I'm waiting anxiously along with everyone else for your new record to be released.

Best of luck on your South American Trip!

Don Caplan

Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997

Hey Chico:

Look at the bright side, at least your not Billy Joel.

The Man.

From: "Robert C. Cray"
Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997
Subject: Typo

Say listen, I know you're no spring chicken, but are you really "Senior" Chico, Senor Chico? Or maybe you just need to fire your proofreader.

Yours in eagle-eyed fandom,

Bob Cray

From: PAR
Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997
Subject: Hall of Shame

Guess you guys are late bloomers, I can relate. You will be in soon despite the fact that you don't care. Good luck anyways and where the hell is the new CD?!

Date: Sun, 26 Oct 1997
Subject: Note to Chico and Hector

There is no 1997 Corvette convertible. In yellow, or any other color. Chevy offered only a Corvette hardtop (the long-awaited C5) for '97. The first C5 convertible is a '98 model.

-- Todd Lassa

Date: Mon, 27 Oct 1997
Subject: The Hall of Fame snub

Please realize that this slight is not as bad as it seems - the thought of you jamming on a grand finale of "Don't Stop" with Fleetwood Mac and the Eagles scares me only a little more than the probable possibility of numerous John Denver tribute concerts or albums. Your time will come, perhaps when Springsteen is inducted (much more fun jamming to "Born to Run"). Be well and lay low in the tall grass.


From: Reinhard Heller
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 1997
Subject: Farewell

At Last! You went. I bid you farewell. Hasta la vista, etc etc. May you live most peacefully wherever your feet touch ground. Well, you'll live, at least.

What was a real surprise, though, was this, we might say, over-reaction of the stock markets. I would not have expected such an impact. But the whole thing was overheated anyway, the music business and the internet and all the rest of it. And that you decided to close it on a Friday might have been going one step too far.

That hall of fame thing, on the other hand, what had you expected? Let's face it: they're looking for faces, you know. They want stars. Not just some guys that like to ride in a limo every once a while.

What is a real shame, and you know it, and that's why I'll rub it in your eyes again: you just prove your unwillingness to provide that new cd of yours. I'm not that mad about it, but there are a couple of really hard-loving fans who'll be really pissed now. Well, you guys always seem to be a little detached from what us true followers want. Let's see if you can get away with this ...

My best wishes for your future!
Kind regards.
Says this guy George.

From: KPRS
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 1997
Subject: Condolences etc

You guys certainly deserved to be placed in the Hall of Fame -- what with all the junkie, loadie bastards that have been installed in the past, you two have both good music and a good rep.

Put it behind you and work on a new album! I think you should dedicate an album to Marsha Clark and Chris Darden and call it "KATO LIED".

Caught you guys at Glen Helen in San Bernadino a couple of years ago. Fantastic show!! Thought about buying a ticket to see you at the Hard Rock Hotel here in Vegas, but decided to use the money to make a house payment instead.

Take care guys!

Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997
Subject: hof

You can always spearhead the founding of a "real" Rock N' Roll museum!!!!! One with real experts, historians, musicologists, etc. Otherwise younger generations are going to think the one in Cleveland is the last word on the whole thing.

Lauren Taines

Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997
Subject: Fame Shame

Like youselves I could give a damn about this Hall of Fame bull shit. What I really need is some new Music to listen too.. How many times can I reply the old Stuff. I swear my patience has been tested, Im coming after you bastards if there is no CD SOON...

Happy Holidays

From: Paul.Shannon-SNIP@SNIP-NAU.EDU
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997
Subject: read the fine print!

No one in northern Arizona was as upset as I to find that you were not inducted into the HOF this year. So much so I went directly to the HOF website ( and found this quote about the selection process: "Criteria considered includes the influence and significance of the artist's contribution to the development and perpetuation of producers, disc jockeys, record company executives, journalists and other industry professionals."

According to those rules, it is painfully obvious that you have been spending too much time working on music and not enough time promoting the careers of producers, disc jockeys, record company executives, journalists and other industry professionals.

I personally don't see why you are interested in being a part of this. But in the long run (no pun intended), they will have to open a special HOF wing to honor SD as pioneers (again!) in the development of the rock and roll website. Huzzah!!!

The things that pass for knowledge, I can't understand.

Paul Shannon

(for confirmation of above quote see URL:

From: David Hicks (
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997
Subject: Snub'd...Like Me

Let's just say, for the sake of having said it, my jolly Uncle Kevin's third wife is on the so-called R-n-R HOF inductee committee (and other things whose names end with the long 'E' sound), and I received a rather interesting phone call from her about four months ago concerning something they call The Ballot, and Mssrs Fagen and Becker:

"Hey, Marsha, what's the haps?"

"Steely Dan."

"Two-five, right?"

"Yup...what do you suppose?"

"I suppose not."

"Thanks, kid."

Shoulda answered my e-mail, guys...maybe next year.

Date: Sat, 01 Nov 1997
From: Jeanne Gavern
Subject: Dicks in the Dirt

Dear Chico and Hector,

Hope all is well on the Juan Tizol. I went Halloweening last night as Denny Diaz, but no one knew who I was. I think I had him down though-having studied his style and wit at your '93 show at the Greek. Now I realize though, that maybe its true that you guys were just too obscure to be recognized as hall of famers. And maybe they just don't get it. Hell, they put it in Cleveland for God sakes.


p.s. Take your time on the new album. I can wait.

Date: Sun, 9 Nov 1997 10:35:
Subject: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Walter and Donald,

I have the following suggestions to enhance the possibility of your future induction into the RHOF.

#1- Be seen clinging to each other. This was very effective for Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. One of you should be wearing something slinky. I suggest Walter. Hugging Skunk Baxter would also be seen as a positive thing. Hug him soon.

#2- Pretend you have reunited "for the love of the music, man". Suggest that you will record new music, while you count the money of your reunion tour. Then go back to your solo careers with a nice nest egg.

#3- Learn to play "Born on the Bayou". You will be playing with John Fogerty at the dinner. Feel good about it and remember that it is more likely that you will become members of Creedence than Stu Cook and Doug Clifford.

#4- Deny that Steely Dan is relevant. You must be totally irrelevant to get into the Hall.

#5- Do an unplugged special for MTV. Special guest- Ron Wood.

Good Luck,

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