Dear Greta

Allow me to congratulate you on the terrific job you are doing on your program "Burden of Proof". I am deeply involved in the public life of my country and consider myself to be an astute observer of the contemporary scene. I have been watching your fine broadcast every day since the Lewinsky scandal first made the news, and your incisive legal analysis of late breaking developments has been simply fantastic. In my opinion, you have singlehandedly defined the mature right-thinking party line with respect to Defendant Clinton and Inquisitor Starr and The Girls. Plus you just come off as incredibly sexy in the process, if I may say so. Right on, Greta! Go get 'em!

A question: as I understand it, our position on the whole scandal is this: Sure, there may or may not have been a few extracurricular lobjobs now and again over the years, but that doesn't give some bible-thumping transvestite the right to rape the American legal system and threaten the unprecedented wealth and prosperity that some of us are enjoying lately. Am I right? is that it? or not even close?

I know how busy you are these days, Greta, but let me ask a couple more quick questions - do you know Bobbie Battista? Do you know her phone number? Would you happen to know if Daryn Kagan is wearing the WonderBra I sent her? and finally, what size shoe do you wear?

Okay, that's it, I gotta get back to my gig now, same as you. Write when you can and keep up the good work.

Thanks for everything,
Walt