If e-mail to the site is any indication, The Fandom is kicking into High Gear this month.
And so are we: The New One may be in the can, but the real drudge work is just beginning. So until we get clear again, we place some of your most pressing questions in the able hands of the SDWebDrone.
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999 20:48:48 +0800
From: Beng <bblooi-SNIP@SNIP-singnet.com.sg>
Subject: Wish you were there in Manila
My wife, Jessica (a great fan of yours) and I were in Manila a month ago
and went to the club at the Mandarin Oriental to listen to some live
music. We decided to try our luck and requested for "Rikki don't lose
that number" or any Steely Dan music. When the lead singer read (over
the mic) the request, he said he didn't know that song and his drummer
shouted out to him that Rikki is actually a song by Phil Collins. They
proceeded to play "Paradise". We sank deep into the lounge chairs,
knocked back a few tequilas and decided that perhaps we should have
requested for Aja - they could have played The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.
Subject: A List
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 1999 22:03:44 -0700
It's about time somebody made a comprehensive list of the types of e-mails
sent to Messer's Becker & Fagen on this site, over and over and over again:
1. The "Where did the name 'Steely Dan' come from?" question.
2. The "When is your next damn record coming out?" question.
3. The "Please play a concert in my town" plea.
4. The "Remember me, I was in row 17 of that concert where I yelled to you,
'Do it again!'"
5. The "I never heard of Steely Dan until my grandfather turned me on to
the music from his childhood, and now I think you are as good as Creed."
6. The "Hey, I'm writing a really insulting message to try and get a rise
out of you."
7. The "Hey, this message will be so bizarre you will have to assume it is
8. The "What do the lyrics to [pick any song] mean?" question.
9. The "I think I'll make up a list and imply I'm better than the other
losers who send you e-mails."
10. The "I'm submitting a serious question, revealing my warped expectation
that a couple of total recluses like you have nothing better to do with
their time than answer fan questions about which chords are used in 'Third
11. The "I'm a huge fan of yours, Mr. Fagan" misspeller.
12. The "I are biggest fan of Mr. Steely Dan, yes are true, here in [pick
any European or Asian country]."
13. The "Your webmaster is a really smart and sexy guy." [Just threw that
in to try and get this printed.]
Please delete my name and e-mail, since I want no grief or contacts from
Your Super Duper Biggest Fan
The WebDrone Replies: A pretty good summary -- but that's only the ones you've seen. For a more scientific tabulation of e-mail sent to this site, see our Dead Letter Department.
Date: Thu, 7 Oct 1999 13:51:25 EDT
Your album is destined to bomb, and bomb bad. Patience has been tried, and
expectations are too high. You have both painted yourselves into a corner
and pissed off even the most dedicated and loyal fans. First quarter of
"00,, I figure late May, should provide enough time to sell tickets for the
Date: Thu, 7 Oct 1999 15:17:42 EDT
Subject: hey we are not Penko!
Donald and Walter,
I recently was tearing through your letters section and wanted to let you
know that here in Pittsburgh, we used regualar electircity and not that Penko
junk you spoke of before. So if you do not wish to play here soon, I would
be highly upset and I would not be the only one. HOOK US UP!!!
Also, any word on the title of the album?
From: "Malcolm Morrison" <malcolm.morrison-SNIP@SNIP-btinternet.com>
Subject: Sensible TV programme
Date: Fri, 8 Oct 1999 00:46:49 +0100
Hey I'm getting worried about you guys. I've just seen the TV programme about Aja and you actually talked sensibly about the record. You even interpreted some of the lyrics. What's up with you? Are you trying to lose your mystique? What's next? You going to put out an album of outtakes or maybe release a live video with mistakes on? Confusedly Mal
From: "Malcolm Morrison" <malcolm.morrison-SNIP@SNIP-btinternet.com>
Subject: Sensible TV Programme
Date: Fri, 8 Oct 1999 21:23:35 +0100
Hey Guys I've had another look at that video and I apologise. Mal
Date: Sat, 9 Oct 1999 13:08:54 EDT
Subject: Session Players on Two Against Nature ................
I as well as other SD listeners are interested in the session players used in
the long, long, long awaited 'new one "I would think that the SD organization
would be releasing this information. I really don `t understand the lack of
promotion of the first release in 20 years. A. Its poor marketing or B. The
consensus is that the masses, starving for new material will flock to the
stores anyhow, so that the time and money spent on press releases and
interviews and advertising doesn't seem necessary. I hope that I `m talking
out of my ass, and that the release is treated like it should be, as a Big
Fuckin Deal! Yea, sort of like CSNY coming out with new stuff.
The WebDrone Replies: Keep an eye on the Two Against Nature Page for musician credits. Among other things. Eventually.
From: "Brock Levin" <blevin-SNIP@SNIP-indiana.edu>
Date: Sat, 9 Oct 1999 16:30:39 -0500
Do you think, maybe, someone can create a Steely Dan skin for Winamp?
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 1999 18:12:25 EDT
Subject: Keyboard player
I'm a keyboard player, age 42....i've been known to front a jazz trio...i've
also worked with cabaret singers and with a classic rock band.
where are you based out of? and what can you tell me about this band?
Is it a steely dan cover band?
From: "Gerry Lennon" <jaco-SNIP@SNIP-parallex.demon.co.uk>
Subject: erroneous transcriptions past and present
Date: Sat, 16 Oct 1999 23:54:10 +0100
Dear Walt and Don I've been transcribing your music for many years ( high school to university and beyond).I read somewhere that on your last tour(s?) you and Donald bought music books of Dan songs because you couldn't remember the chords you wrote.Surprise surprise they were all wrong.You could have contacted me for heffen's sake and your memory banks would have been fully restored. Like most things in the public domain, the community at large are fed half-truths,quarter-truths and 0/% ones.As Thomas said to Jesus 'I doubt those marks on your hands,bro'.Don't trust the printed word or the printed note. Oh aye, I've also done transcriptions of Denny's solos and your very own bass parts. Glasgow, home of the crave, calling. Long die subservience, servility and alliterative headlines. Aloha and oot Gerry Lennon
From: "C. Shifflett II" <caudesign-SNIP@SNIP-mail.com>
Subject: You call that a "Preview"??
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 1999 19:02:30 -0700
My dearest Don and Walt,
I hope the new one is better than that piss poor preview, which reminded me of an old Mad magazine "magic issue" that promised to reveal how the magic tricks were done, just turn to page 64. Trouble was, there was no page 64.
You cheeky bastards!
Your loyal sycophant,
From: Neil Hammond <njh-SNIP@SNIP-ns.ph.liv.ac.uk>
Date: Thu, 21 Oct 1999 13:23:31 +0100 (BST)
I have an issue that I must raise. Firstly, though Steely Dan fans on the
whole tend to be a reasonably well adjusted bunch, (indeed they are much more
preferable to any other group of sycophants I have come across), there are
always one or two that have to go a little too far in the "Lets tell D + W how
great they are" stakes. I mean, I can understand a polite "I like your music"
but all this nonsense about loving the pair of them is a little scary to a
normal, repressed, unemotional Englishman like myself. I like the music myself
else I wouldn't be here but I could imagine better musical ensembles to go to
bed with (the Corrs - anyone ?). Consider what the two fellas already have
going for them :-
3. Fast cars
5. A great job
I could go on ...
The point is the last thing they need (or deserve) is to have their
arses routinely kissed by adoring fans. For my part I will keep
the message short and understated.
Donald and Walter, you're not bad.
From: "DAVID SCHULTZ" <schultzdavid-SNIP@SNIP-hotmail.com>
Subject: how are you?
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 22:50:13 GMT
Hey Donald and Walter,
Everyone is seems to bitching about the new cd release, but how are you guys
really? Are you feeling good? Are you eating right? How are your minds?
Just wanted to wish you well.
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 19:50:00 EDT
Subject: Steely Dan News Email
Hello. I am a huge Steely Dan fan. Is there any way i can recieve news Email
of upcoming tours and releases? I would love to occassionally recieve an
Email telling me whats going on with my favorites. Please reply. Thank
you. Paul Simmons
The WebDrone Replies: Your wish is our command
From: "mgh" <prmlscrm-SNIP@SNIP-primenet.com>
Subject: Oh my God !!!!!
Date: Sun, 31 Oct 1999 03:28:44 -0800
Oh my God !!!!!
Oh my God !!!!!
Oh my God !!!!!
Oh my God !!!!!
I can't believe that you exist as a person ( well almost ) with access to you ( well almost ) by just an ordinary human ( well almost ) !!!
Just to see your answers to prior email signed with a "W" and just to think it's you ....
Oh my God !!!!! I haven't even seen a "D" yet !!!! I haven't even checked out your site ! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I CAN'T STOP SMILING.......
You just have no idea!
I really don't think I could be more excited about meeting the pope or the president or whoever....(maybe Gadd....Hey I heard a story about Aja and ... True? )
I can't believe that I'm acting like this.
I feel like I shouldn't send this .... I just re-read it ...It's too weird.... but I have to.... I swear I am not some psychopathic fan....
Just very happy to be alive when your music is around! Thanks so so so much!
Oh my God !!!!!
Fuck ....the internet is so cool !!!!!
From: "mike lakies" <mlakies-SNIP@SNIP-traverse.net>
Subject: steely dan video
Date: Thu, 4 Nov 1999 20:11:58 -0500
There is a guy selling video's of your concert on ebay. they are home made
My brother had searched all over for a video of yours, and bought it on ebay,
it was a copy.
The guy who is doing this has an ebay user name of gregus99
his email is snorks3-SNIP@SNIP-aol.com
I hate to say, that I would not be so upset if the video had been good
quality, but it is not.
Date: Mon, 08 Nov 1999 20:36:41 -0500
From: Alison Johnson <aljx-SNIP@SNIP-bellsouth.net>
Subject: New CD Tunes
I was curious about one of the songs from your last tour - 'Jack of
Speed'. Is this one going to show up on your new CD? Any tours planned
for this one? If so, please make a stop in the NC triangle ( Walnut
Creek amphitheatre) - there are many devoted fans here.
- Alison Johnson
The WebDrone Replies: A track listing is now up on the Two Against Nature Page
Date: Wed, 10 Nov 1999 18:39:38 EST
Subject: Buffalo, September,93
I hope you forgive me, but I was one of the individuals involved in the melee
on the floor. To make a long story short, my older sister was threantened by
a fellow crowd member so I simply came to her defense. The ironic part was
that it happened during a very peaceful melody. I only mention this because I
saw an interview in which Donald and Walter talked about a possible clash
between the old school Steely Dan fans and the "light jazz" fans. I hope you
can forgive me and I look forward to the new release.
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 18:03:00 -0600
From: cannon <pukka-SNIP@SNIP-airmail.net>
where are all the naked ladies?
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 17:23:09 EST
Subject: Love you for "yourselves"
D & W:
Of COURSE we love you for yourselves !!! We loved you for yourselves even as
far back as "Countdown." But of course we were twenty and drunk then, so
take it for what it's worth.
Anyway, looking forward to the New One. We love you, but there are limits.
Get to work.
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 18:26:59 EST
Subject: concerning lyrics
I was wondering if you could email me the lyrics to the song, "Do it
Again". I think it's one of your best songs and I can't seem to find the
The WebDrone Replies: All our on-site lyrics can be found here
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 16:11:39 -0800
From: Dan Crossman <dancross-SNIP@SNIP-vcd.hp.com>
Subject: Celebrity Jeopardy
Have either of you ever considered being a contestant
on celebrity jeopardy? I'll bet you'd kick ass.
Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1999 15:17:04 EST
Subject: Is it just me?
For the last ten or so years I have been afflicted with a bizarre condition
that I have yet to see written up in any medical journal. I'm curious to
find out if anyone has
made this same "ism" known to you.
While listening to ANY SD album, I get an irrepressible urge to get
It usually manifests itself in the pounding of multiple beers or shots in
short periods of time.
I'm wondering if there's something in the tonal quality of your music that's
subliminally "speed bagging" that part of my brain?
To clarify, I am not now, nor have I ever been an alcoholic or a mental
patient and this never occurs while listening to anyone else's music.
I'm interested in your take on this.
For Dog's sake, don't think I'm complaining.
In closing, thanks for all the great work you've both produced. You've
provided a fantastic soundtrack to many of the great memories in my life.
The binge drinking not withstanding.
The best of luck to you both.
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 20:06:16 -0700
From: Dave <northview-SNIP@SNIP-montana.com>
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving Day
Dear Valued Citizens,
Five years ago, while I was living in Budapest, something strange
happened to me. I went into this Bistro to drown my homesickness in
cheap gin and lousy hookers who looked like that chick from "Murder She
Wrote." Ever since I had moved there to take a job with the municipal
government in a custodial capacity, the face of Angela Lansbury had
haunted me (and for obvious reasons, if you know what I mean (and I
think you do)). I seem to see hints of her in all those Hungarian faces
I passed on the street every day, solving mysteries with their piercing
eyes and suggestive saunters. But enough of that for now...
Cheap gin tends to make me blackout. The only thing I remember from the
night before was the taste of the gin, as if I'd rinsed my mouth with
Pine-Sol and then gargled with razor blades. All of a sudden, I
recalled an image from the night before - or better yet a sensation.
The freedom of dancing naked in the Bistro to the opulent melody of
"Babble on, Sisters". Liberated by the alcohol, absinthe in hashish
(did I mention the gin, yet), and naked in the physical and emotional
sense. I thought to myself, "Hey, this is Steely Dan!"
Just then, the hooker replied, "Word up, they have got a new album
coming out in February, G."
"Did I say that out loud?", I asked and then, not waiting for a reply,
"I've gotta get another drink."
I vanished from the seating area of the restaurant and, when I
reappeared, I was standing at the bar.
I motioned to the bartender and said, "Look man, haven't you been
sleeping well. I mean, you look like shit! It's totally disgusting!"
He just belched something in Hungarian and refilled my glass with the
oily gin common to that region.
1. If Russia invaded Turkey from behind, would Greece help?
2. The last time Steely Dan released a studio album was the __80's.
d. They haven't released a studio album since the birth of Christ.
Before the end of this transmission, we send our wishes for a Happy
Thanksgiving and we leave you with this - How about a tour date for
From: "Bill Orr" <worr-SNIP@SNIP-holiday-house.com>
Subject: Aja album documentary
Recently heard that a documentary type program aired on MuchMusic here
in Toronto. I missed it but wonder if I can get my hands on it. It
involved interviews during recording, discussion on sounds,sessions,
solos, players,attitudes etc. Program was called "Best Albums" or the
Looking forward as always to the new one...........and Happy New Year to
The WebDrone Replies: I see you're registered to get the Steely Dan Newsletter -- so by now you've gotten the info we have on that Classic Albums show.
From: xxxxx <xxx>
Please don't post my e-mail with any identifying information
such as my e-mail address, handle or name. Thanks for your
Several e-mails to your site have asked about an individual
named "John Kragh" or "John Kraugh". What is the real
story with him? Are his stories of playing on SD tracks lies?
How about his claim to be the one hidden under the newspaper
on the park bench? Is he just using the name to defraud folks?
I'm curious because I had an experience that proved to be a
little less than honest from his side of the table -- but this was
back in the late 1980s. Back then, I successfully collected moneys
due through the Dallas (Texas) D.A.'s office, so my interest is solely
founded in curiosity and nothing else -- except that apparently there
are others who have crossed paths with the stories that seem to be
the only things the guy seems to have going for him.
The WebDrone Replies: You're not the first to ask about this fellow (nor, we suspect, will you be the last). So here's the deal; this guy did not play on any Steely Dan record and was never associated with them in any way. Period.
From: "Hackney, Kelly"
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 16:00:45 -0800
Someone found something usefull to do with their internet account. I now
have a new home page.
Kelly (No, I'm not a chick) Hackney
Date: Thu, 02 Dec 1999 20:41:51 -0500
From: Marshall Kresman <jkresman-SNIP@SNIP-home.com>
Subject: Me, Myself, and Irene ?
can you guys please confirm the rumors about the soundtrack to the
upcoming Jim Carrey film, "Me Myself & Irene", being an album of just
Steely Dan covers. If true which bands are doing which tunes.
Life is unreal.......
The WebDrone Replies: Yep, it's true. Another item we've mentioned in the legendary-if-only-in-our-own-minds SD Newsletter
From: "David Erickson" <derickson161-SNIP@SNIP-earthlink.net>
Subject: Alternate sound clips
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1999 21:18:44 -0500
If you can't get clips from this new recording up on the site, howzabout some Gene Ammons? I mean, he's dead an' all...
The WebDrone Replies: Sorry, no Gene Ammons. But Watch this space for SD Clips
Date: Fri, 03 Dec 1999 12:44:33 -0800
Subject: What's shakin' fellas
So, there I was, happy as a clam, looking out the window at another
beautiful southern Oregon morning, waiting for my unusually tardy 7th
grade english teacher. Quite suddenly the classroom door flew open and
crashed against the wall behind me. What followed was a blurred flurry,
interspersed with brief glimpses of her perfectly proportioned posterior
and candy apple red toenail polish...sorry, it's a very vivid pubescent
memory...She had finally arrived, and reported to us almost singing at
the top of her lungs..."You have got to hear this"!!!...It was a new
LP...Aja...She played it...I've been hooked on your music (and red
toenail polish) ever since. My favorite?..."Home at last".
Thanks for all the great jams, gents.
P.S. Having spent the last seventeen years in the Navy seeing the watery
parts of the world, I'll tell you that your music is truly global...Yes,
even in Mombassa, Kenya you can hear "Do it again" at two in the morning
in a run down tavern...Thanks again, very much!
Date: Sat, 4 Dec 1999 14:09:54 -0500
Subject: president st. pete
for the last three years i've been living in park slope, brooklyn, approx.
a block away from your old digs on president st. last week i happened by
the place (983? 985? something like that) and saw a rather
beraggled-looking man sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk outside. he had
a paper coffee cup, a barbie doll with half its head missing (left half),
and a piece of cardboard upon which the following words were
PRES ST. PETE
BEEN LON TIME
WHERE THEE TWO??? 2???
i approached, and before i could say anything he threw up on my shoes. you
guys must have something to do with this, i just know it. i'd like to send
you the cleaning bill (it ain't easy getting vomit out of suede). your
From: "Hans Warenburg" <klarewaren-SNIP@SNIP-planet.nl>
Date: Sun, 5 Dec 1999 20:34:23 +0100
I have to apologize. Some time ago I called you the champions of nonformation and than a real newsletter from you, a tracklist, and albumcovers! I'm blown of my feet. So thanks a lot, guys. Hans van de Warenburg
From: "Rick Camardo" <rcamardo-SNIP@SNIP-retailsystem.com>
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 11:26:15 -0500
Will there be touring in 2000????? Please let me know if anything is
planned so far.
The WebDrone Replies: Quoting from a recent entry in the fabulous-as-clams SD Newsletter: : "Yes, Steely Dan will tour in 2K. Would you believe us if we told you that's all we can say for sure right now? The actual details -- if, where, when -- are simply not available yet. We promise (hey, they want to sell tickets, don't they?) that information will be sent your way just as soon as it is *guaranteed reliable*. In the meantime, all else is rumor. And the "Tour Dates" circulating now? Pure fiction."
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 13:06:54 -0800 (PST)
From: Eskunder Boyd <eskunder-SNIP@SNIP-yahoo.com>
Subject: First you see a flash, then you smell smoke
First of all, I want to thank you for finally getting
the lead out on the new one. My periodic check of the
SD website confirm my suspicion that the natives are
quite restless. I remember quite specifically telling
me (and everyone else at the Art Crimes show at the
Nissan Pavillion) that the new one would be coming.
I won't get into any undue adulation about your
lyrical witticims and your crisp, impeccable
musicianship (despite the fact that your output to
date has been beyond reproach). Nor do I intend to
lament how you are a bit dismissive of your younger
fans (of which I am one). To be honest I'm still
smarting a bit over the "average lollapollazers" crack
in the booklet to Citizen Steely Dan, but that was
What I would like to know is what Jerome Aniton is up
to. To this day I propagate his sage advice that if's
good to you, it must be good for you. If you find a
need for another protrated introduction at a show
(assuming that you two decide to tour again), I am
more than glad to proffer my services. My rates are
reasonable, and I can assure you that I can attain the
appropriate combination of intoxication and erudition.
I would also like to offer my services as part of the
landing party being assembled in the event that you
are not inducted into the HOF. I am reasonably
familiar with the island of Manhattan and would be
unmitigated in the reprisals undertook in Steely Dan's
name. I might, however, take some time out to
familiarize myself with the ladies serving the ginger.
As a final note I would like you two to check out this
group called the Pharcyde. They are a Los Angeles
based rap duo (formerly a quartet, but that's another
story). I think you might find their lyrics
sufficiently irreverent and engaging. It just might
make up for the aforementioned "lollapallozers"
Here's hoping that something comes of this.
Your dedicated, generation X fan
p.s. What the hell is a "battle-apple" anyway?
The WebDrone Replies: Monique's Mom seems to think she knows...
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 1999 01:24:32 EST
I have read the responses to your recent e-mail inquiries and can only
conclude that an IPO is imminent. The confidence you exude, especially you
W, reminds me what opportunities abound in this MP3 world (except that MP3
went from 93 to 33 to 65 to 31 points). Well, you can't win them all, but SD
is a proven product, and if Martha Stewart can tell us how to live and make a
Billion Dollars in one day doing it, god help me: issue the fucking stock
because I'm ready to be an insider on the SD gravy train and retire. I'll
risk my ex-wife's entire future on it which shows you I'm not fucking around.
She's been intimate with the Judge who has jurisdiction over the kids and I
would never do anything to jeopardize their future. Besides, contempt of
Court is an ugly thing. Therefore, IPO it is ... before I go Bankrupt. OK?
From: "S. Wigton" <swigton-SNIP@SNIP-sprynet.com>
Subject: Cease & Desist
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 1999 22:29:24 -0800
Dear Dr. Fleckman: I'm compelled to write in response to your Dec. 5 inquiry regarding the experimental prosthetic technique pioneered by my office, and later miscast by the press as the "Steely Dan Louisiana Big Boy". To be brief & frank, Sir, as is my nature: NO. Having reviewed the relevant prior art with my attorneys, I am more than comfortable that you and your partner hold no intellectual property claims on the technique itself, the name OR pet names -- whatever the origins -- of said technologies, OR the materials science relevant to either its development OR its peculiar ability to soothe. If I see further posting or publication of this phrase...OR any variant (e.g. a large, simple, boldface sans-serif "2vN", with a smaller Palatino "Louisiana Big Boy" centered beneath it on a breathable, plain, extra-heavyweight cotton T, sizes S-M-L-XL-XXL) be assured, Sir, that I'll not roll over like that drug-addled Beatnik boy-boffing kif smoker with the sunken cheeks & the Fedora. Yours, Dr. Benway
From: "Celia McKibben" <cmckibben-SNIP@SNIP-unitycom.com>
Subject: Operation Amphibious Dan
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 14:01:38 -0800
Dear Donald and Walter, There is no chance that you guys won't make it into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year, but rest assured that if you do not there will be no shortage of troops to enlist in your drunken fight against the record industry heavies. We will fight against the sleazy perpetrators of "Art Crimes Against Humanity" They can't get with it. We'll give two magnums of champagne to Skunk Baxter, hand him a Super Soaker and watch him turn the HOF ceremonies into pure chaos. It'll be glorious. Then we'll take New York and reclaim it as Steely Dan's New Headquarters for World Domination (not just a block or two, the whole damn town). We'll tap into Bitchmaster Bill and see if we can't get him to head up the Propaganda team, Skunk can head up the fanatic militant wing, and you guys can saturate the world market with all manners of smooth jazz and Swedish ginger Snaps. Well, ok, its a little extreme but man if I here another shitty pop song on the radio I'm going postal. Good luck with the awards gentlemen, and I'll be looking forward to February 29, 2000. Hope to see you on the road this summer. Adam Perry El Presidente All Importante of the Steely Dan Louisiana Big Boy for World Domination Foundation
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 21:38:41 EST
TO: SD merchandise dept.
RE: items for SD gift shop
"Cleveland Rocks" t-shirts, ball caps, and #2 pencils would be very useful
and would also display a magnanimity that could come in handy later. Also, a
Lovin' Spoonful gear would send a message of conciliation and one of
recognition that Fame (capital F as in other f words) is indeed an elusive
and quixotic muse.