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Viking Helmet steely who? the original band names

by tom schiller
F ew people know that before Steely Dan became Steely Dan, the boys performed and toured under 7,566 other names as part of a test marketing research investigation. In 1973, aided by the Windsor Unimax 5000 computer system, a test market research investigation was initiated by Jack Tafoya, a prominent record company executive with a penthouse apartment in the Brill building. As a result, the computer came up with 9,087 of the best names for the burgeoning group. Here is a list of the top fifty leading to the final selection:
Penis Whip

Ocular Fillibrator

Oceans of Chocolate

Marsupial Soup


Hard Donut

Slime Unit

Chucky Upchuck

Thigh Patties

Cold Stone Sea Monkey

Virginia Mastic Wiener Whistle


Conniption and Connivin'

The Blabberworks People

False Intelligence


The Pewterberg Faction


The Lipstick Lizards


The Rambling Whippoorwills

Hi Jinx on Ice

Small Doses

Saliva, the Movie


Pennsylvania 911

Don and Greg

The Cuticles

Boric Acid

Shredded Brain Compote

Carolina num nums

The Don't Fucks

Sliding Curve

Bleckfast at Tiffany's

Road Hummer

Radical Pattycake


Iron Jaundice

The Bloody Stumps

Hard-as-steel Man

Strong Man

Steel Men

Steel-eye Pan

Steely Bob

Steely Robert

Steely Shiela

Sheedy, Allie

Sheedy Dan

Shelly Mann

and finally....

Steely Dan
Source: Arnold Jeevis Never Heard of 'Em: Musical Groups' Original Band Names, Putnam and Rowes, Berlin, 1981.

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