Blessed To The 'Nines'

I am writing to you because of your reputation for honesty and fairness and because of all this hubbub about Steely Dan being inducted into the Hall of Fame next year, and about who is going to actually get the awards. And because I know of someone who NEEDS to get nominated and get an award, who is probably gonna be left out unless you or someone like you comes to her rescue. That person, that would be me, Monique Becker-Fagen Smythe, professional or say semi-professional model, aspiring actress, licensed beautician, and, most relevantly in this connection, illegitimate daughter of Messrs Becker and/or Fagen.

Look - I know this sounds crazy. My mother, who is not available for comment at this time, told me the whole story about ten thousand times. About the party, that is, after the incredible Steely Dan concert, her going back stage, meeting up with the band, they had a car waiting outside, a few drinks and back to their hotel rooms - come on, Mr Ertegun, you know the score, do I have to paint you a picture?

The thing is, over the years my poor mother, who is missing in action at this time but hopefully will be able to attend the reception, she never forgot the wonderful weekend she had with the boys - how could she? - and in fact she started sending them ideas for lyrics on a pretty regular basis, twice a week maybe sometimes, twice a day for the seven months she was in that awful hospital in Bradford, Pennsylvania - and I know this for a fact, because later she showed me copies of some of them in her handwriting, and they were just like the songs that came out on the records. I learned to play the guitar by playing along with those records, I am a good guitar player and songwriter myself and it so happens that Donn and the other guy have their own recording studio and recording company, right? that doesn't matter now though, although it will matter later.

ALL'S I'M SAYING IS THIS: please, Mr Ertegun, you are a powerful and attractive guy and I'm not just saying this, I really really believe it - wouldn't it be fantastic for me to finally be reunited with my real father, whichever one it is? There is of course no way in hell my mom could have known which one was the father, but - I have been rebirthed three times now, and every time I have the same dream - some guy is singing "Tequila Sunrise" and I am sitting on his lap, kissing him. So I am pretty certain that whichever one, Donn or Glenn, sings that song is my real father. Also, I have some pretty deep experiences relating to their other biggest hit, the one with the "Steely Nines" - that's me, nine is my lucky number, always has been - so I just hope that it's the same guy who sings that one too. Is it?

Either way - I just want what I got coming to me and my poor mom, and who cares which guy is my daddy - they both did her, right? Is it possible that both of them could be my father? Sometimes it just seems that way to me. Anyway, my mom was a plenty good looking girl then, she had just been the prom queen that June, this was in Phoenix in 1981, it was still cool to have a good tan in those days, that was when they played the greatest concert of their Steelynine career. Remember?

Thank you for your help. Please send the tickets as soon as you can. Four tickets in all - little Skip and D'Janette want to come along too.

7/18/97